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I think I have to say something here that ISN'T uplifting and encouraging. This kid is RAD...which means that there is a chance that he WON'T "come around" or "learn to deal with it"....EVER. And the reason I'm saying this is because I don't want you to end up feeling like a failure if it never happens. Some of these kids really ARE too damaged to heal, and you can see that in stories from forums dedicated to RAD kids. There was even a recent thread about what happens to them if they are still RAD when they hit adulthood (a range from "poor and unsatisfying relationships with others" to "jail"). I HOPE that he is young enough to benefit from your incredible amount of love for him, and I definitely say keep on for as long as you can stand it, and with faith and a few miracles you may get to be his "mom". But after reading through all the posts that remind you he is having a tough time (duh) and that he'll eventually come around, I just wanted to say this to help you remember not to beat YOURSELF up over this. I know you KNOW that, but it's really hard to FEEL it all the time. Loving someone who doesn't (and maybe can't) love you back has GOT to be the most painful experience in the world. And whatever ends up happening - know that you have given him SOMETHING to hang onto - something he would never have gotten if he'd eneded up in a group home or treatment center.
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