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I did the heart with additional rooms story. Maybe I got it from you, I know I read it on this board somewhere. He doesn't want to build a room for me. I showed him with my hands in a circle, this is your heart. Your mom and sister live here. No matter what happens your mom can never, never leave this room in your heart. I'm asking you to build another room over here. He doesn't want to build my room. He has told me it would make him feel disloyal to his mom. But nothing I can say or do seems to get thru to him. He has made up his mind that he will not be happy no matter what unless he goes back to live with his mom. It's as if he seems to refuse to believe that he really cannot ever go back to her.
I don't own candles, and don't want to own them. I have a fear of them being knocked over and starting a fire. (I know, I'm paranoid)
I do however like the idea of doing something special to remember the bio family. He does have some pictures his mom gave him just before her rights were terminated and I put them in a photo album for him. Occassionally we will go thru them and look at them. Most times when I ask if he wants to look at them, he says no. I don't know if he ever looks at them when I'm not around, he is free to do that though. She also wrote him a goodbye letter, that he keeps between the mattresses on his bed. Again, I'm not sure if he ever pulls that out to read. Of course if he does that could be the problem, because she told him to never give up on them being together again in the letter.
I think part of the reason why this is so hard for me right now, is because I feel like I am now trying to force him to believe something he doesn't want to believe. Like I am trying to force him to love me, or want me to be his parent or whatever and I am afraid of doing more damage than good.
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