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I know it's hard to hear. And I know it hurts. I think that on some level your FS may think that he is betraying his Bmom, or turning his back on her, and she won't forgive him.
We did two things to illustrate to our son this was not the point. 1 was that we told him the human heart builds a new room for everyone it loves. I told him I did not want to move into his birth mother's room, but I wanted to move into the room in his heart he and I built for me. We also set up candles... signifying us and bparents. We showed that if "his" candle lights all those candles, he doesn't run out of love. He's still got it. (and we had him light all the candles)
We also do special things to remember bfamily... he has a small Christmas tree. We wrote on plain ornaments the names of everyone he has lived with. He keeps this tree in his room and on his adoption day (Dec 8) we decorate the tree and say one nice thing about everyone.
I don't know if this helps you at all.....
Amy
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