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Take a breath
I have my own biological children telling me they don't want me to be their mother. LOL!! Children at this age, for the most part, don't want parents (or so they think - they actually need us now more than ever before). He might just be testing you to see if you will abandon him, one last testing of the waters before you adopt him.
As far as being greatful, I think you will have to wait until he is about 21 (at least for boys) when he realizes what you have done for him and how you have changed his life.
He might just need a little more time and I personally would not hold back my emotions towards him. The more he pushes you away, the more loving I would become.
I'm not a therapist, so calling you mom and dad is not something I could really talk about, but you might want to ask the therapist if calling you Mama ______ (fill in your first name) would be less threatening for him and may ease him into calling you Mom and Dad. I don't know, just a thought.
Best wishes to you and I hope everything turns out well for you. Keep us posted!!
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