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Originally Posted by merrill1277
The fact that you don't know her, but only her record, allows you to see her as a monster... and the speculations only get worse. Fact is, there is a real person underneath that record... someone you don't really know. I'd think she probably had a pretty bad upbringing herself. Not that this is a defense for anything she's done, but I would be hoping that she might have a chance for a better future... that she would find real opportunities to turn her life around. Unhealthy behavioral patterns learned from an early age can be hard to break for some people, without help. You can't know if there is anything good or any potential good within her (which I believe all people have), if you don't know her (as a person).
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We actually found his B-mom working at a grocery store a few miles from our house. This is something I wanted but again, don't want him to know at this point. I get the feeling she doesn't recognise him but I could be wrong. (see my post in foster care & Adoptions about details) I will say that seeing her now, she isn't that monster I imagined. She is a person, laughing, smiling, and we even know she has a daughter. I took my mom shopping last week and she got to see her. Again, all of this is private so no-one there knows (unless she is hiding this very well). I have stopped taking my son to that store for fear of her recognising him and what may come of that. Very ironic. When he is old enough, I will let him search her out and if she stays in the community, he'll find her. My question is, when is he going to be old enough to understand this whole thing ?