[sak9645]

Here is something I posted previously:

Please do NOT confuse the ceremonial gifts to officials with tips paid to guides, drivers, or chambermaids. They are totally different.

While gifts to individuals -- as opposed to the orphanage donation or gifts for use in an orphanage -- are not "necessary", it is considered polite in China to give small, token gifts to people with whom you do business. It is sort of a business version of the gift you give your hostess when you have dinner or stay overnight at someone's house for the first time.

The people from the CCAA follow this practice when they come to the U.S. to speak at a conference or visit agencies. As an example, I am the proud owner of a beautiful scarf that was given to me when I was the head of an adoption advocacy organization, and organized a conference in Washington, DC at which three members of the CCAA spoke. Scarves, of course, are ideal business gifts for Chinese people to give Americans, as silk is a well-known and much appreciated Chinese product, and scarves don't take up much room in suitcases. Silk is also much cheaper in China than in the U.S.

Gifts to individuals should not be large or costly, and they should be given publicly, so that they do not look like bribes. The Chinese authorities are very sensitive to the possibility of corruption in the adoption process, and you should be very careful not to appear to be offering a bribe or payment. Both you and the recipient could get in trouble. NEVER give money, other than the officially designated fees, to anyone associated with the adoption process.

Ideally, the gifts should be chosen so that they will help the recipients remember you and your adoption in a positive way. You want them to remember the love that you have for one of China's beautiful children, and feel pleasure that they helped make it possible for the child to join your family.

As a result, it is appropriate to give gifts that are made in your home country, or even your home state or town. And it is also appropriate to choose items that relate to children and adoption. However, more general gifts can be given if you run out of ideas.

Since you will not know in advance exactly how many people you will meet and whether they will be males or females, it is a good idea to carry a dozen or so small and easy to pack items in your suitcase, "just in case." Here are some suggestions:

1. For the orphanage director or a child's foster Mom or primary orphanage caregiver, consider putting together a small photo album showing your family, your home, your neighborhood, your city, and tourist attractions in your state. These people often care very much about the children, and want to know the sort of life that they will have once they are adopted. Most likely, they have not seen the photos you submitted with your dossier. Putting together a really nice album needn't be expensive, but it will be time-consuming -- a true labor of love.

2. Bring souvenirs relating to your hometown or state, or to a well-known institution in the state, such as a ball team or a university. Examples might be an "I Love New York" tee shirt, a Baltimore Orioles baseball cap, a Harvard University mug, or a replica of the Washington Monument. One couple in our group, who lived in Annapolis and had military connections, made a big hit by giving out U.S. Marine Corps tee shirts! Normally, one would not give gifts that are made in China, but if the fabric of a tee shirt is made in China, but the logo is of an American institution, that's fine. Food products related to a state are OK, as long as they aren't perishable and aren't an item that is considered revolting to the Chinese palate. (As an example, I'm told that people in some parts of China consider cheese disgusting.) Since coffee has become quite "fashionable" in China, a person from the Pacific Northwest who remembers when Starbucks was a single store in Seattle might well want to bring a couple of packages.

3. Food products that are not related to a particular geographic location, but that may be considered luxury items in China, are a good idea if they are not perishable. As an example, fine chocolates sometimes go over really well. I traveled with some fine American-made chocolates wrapped in red, white, and blue foil, as well as some that were wrapped to resemble flowers. If in doubt about food items, consult with your agency's China coordinator, or with a Chinese person of your acquaintance. And consider the temperature in the places you will be traveling. Those fine chocolates won't travel well if you're going to be in certain parts of China in August.

4. Items pertaining to children or adoption are a nice reminder of where our priorities are. As an example, I found some lovely, modestly priced silver pins put out by Save the Children, a child welfare organization, and sold in a local department store. The pins looked like stick figures of children, and were packaged in boxes decorated with multicultural stick figures of children. A note on the boxes indicated that a portion of the profits from the sale of the jewelry went to Save the Children's programs. If you have a favorite children's charity, see what they might be selling to support their work. Or check with your adoption agency. It might have some nice items, such as tote bags that say things like, "Celebrate Adoption."

5. Picture books for adults or children, featuring scenes from American life, can be appropriate if well-chosen. As an example, I lived in Washington, DC when I adopted, and I found some nice books with pictures of the Monuments, the Cherry Blossoms, and so on. Just make sure that the text does not have political or religious content, and that there are no scantily clad people (even people in bathing suits), as these things could offend (and religious proselytizing is illegal in China).

6. Items appropriate for an office are a nice, general gift suitable for male and female officials. As an example, a tasteful picture frame that would look good on a desk is a nice idea -- and you can even put your child's referral picture into it when presenting it. Fine pens are sometimes appreciated, though I get the sense that they are overused gifts.

Some people report that gifts of American cigarettes and liquor go over very well. However, I personally would never give these items in connection with adoption/child welfare events. Use your judgment.

All in all, it's not all that important what you give, as long as you show respect for the person to whom you are giving it and to his/her culture. If you are concerned about whether an item is OK, talk to your agency's China coordinator. As an example, I've been told that some coordinators advise against fancy bath soaps, such as you might give as a house gift. In many parts of the world, soap is strictly utilitarian, and a gift of soap can be interpreted as an assumption that the person is too poor to afford it, or not very clean.

Besides gifts of this sort, you might want to talk with your agency about:

a) Tips for guides and drivers. It is customary for guides and drivers to be tipped, as they often receive a low salary. Your agency may suggest that your group take up a collection, and present each tip as a gift from everyone. It may suggest a rough amount that would be appropriate, or leave the amount up to the group.

b). Tips for waiters, chambermaids, cab drivers, etc. In the past, the Communist government was opposed to tipping. It felt that if workers were paid a fair wage, and if their labor was respected, tipping would be demeaning. However, especially in businesses that receive Western visitors, the custom is changing. It is almost expected in some sorts of establishments. In some cases, the recipient may initially act as if he/she doesn't want a tip -- but may accept one when asked a second time. So check with your agency about whom to tip and how much.

b) Gifts to the orphanage. Besides the mandatory orphanage donation, some agencies encourage families to bring gifts that will benefit the children in an orphanage. Some agencies encourage families to bring individual gifts, such as some new (not used) clothing in infant and toddler sizes. Others recommend that families in a group pool their resources and buy something for the orphanage, such as an air conditioner, while in China. (The prices are better there, in general, and you can be sure that the device will work on the prevailing electrical system.) Still others recommend against any gifts of this sort, believing that the orphanage donation was designed to replace these gifts and that giving such gifts could lead the orphanage officials to "expect" them in addition to the fees.

Sharon
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