[marythemom]

Attachment disorders come from too many changes in caregivers at an early age. If you only adopt babies who have been TPR then that guarantees that those babies have been in the care of a foster parent for at least 6 months. If you're looking at attachment, wouldn't it make more sense for the child to bond to a foster parent who would probably adopt if TPR occurs? Otherwise we're looking at some more major life changes for the child that could have potentially been avoided. Not that the foster/adopt system is designed to be in the best interest of the child, but if it were...

Just my 2 cents. If you aren't aware of all the heart aches and problems that attachment disorders cause you should definitely look into it. We're adopting a sibling group of older children with attachment "issues" and it is one of the most difficult of their many diagnoses. We did straight adopt for many reasons, but for most children I definitely feel that foster to adopt is in their best interest.

Our children's birthmother didn't have her children taken away - she gave them up because she "couldn't handle them anymore." She worked a plan for a little while, but gave away the boy at about age 10 and his sister about 6 months later at age 9. She has an 8 year old and 6 year old still at home. We've told the state when she's done screwing them up to give us a call - we'd be interested in adopting them too to keep the family together. Biomom was a foster child too - don't know what that means, but thought it was interesting. All 4 of her children have different fathers - none of which are still in the picture.

I am incredibly grateful to the foster mom and foster dad who took care of my children over the last year and a half. They considered adopting them, but decided not to because they felt the children should be kept together (each foster parents is a single parents who only provides care for a single gender).

Mary (mom to T age 7 - almost 8, K age 10.5 and adopting C age 11.75 and D age 13.5)