I am an expectant mom (I'm expecting that wonderful phone call at any time
) and I have already hand made my announcements. I want to include in my announcements a letter to educate my closest family and friends about the realities of adoption. What I'm hoping to do is gather as much information as I can from the three sides of adoption so that I can include it in the letter.
So what I'm asking from all of you is that you share what it is that grates on your nerves or hurts your hearts the most out of the mouths of the ignorant.
I understand that I cannot shelter me or my child from all ignorant or flat out rude people but I can do all that I can to educate the people who are closest to us.
To let you know what I'm thinking of right now (and some of it I noticed has been touched on in earlier threads) I have the following in my head:
Please don't ask my child who his/her "real" parents are - my child has birth parents and us, his/her mommy & daddy.
Please don't speak disparagingly of my child's birthparents. My baby wasn't abandoned, thrown away or given up on; his/her birthparents loved him/her enough to give him/her a chance at a more complete life. This was done with great love not with a lack of caring.
Please don't tell my child that he/she is "lucky" to have us as parents unless you are commenting on our parenting skill and not about the circumstances of his/her birth. We are blessed that our Heavenly Father chose us to parent this precious child.
Our child is just that "our child." Adopted is not what our child is but is the means by which he/she came into our family. You wouldn't say - "this is our cesarean child" or "this is our 26 hour labor child."
Obviously it will be much more personal once we have the sweet little one in our lives and can put his/her name in appropriate places.
Please let me know what you think and where I need to add to this list.
Thanks in advance for your help.
irvy
an expectant mom