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Hello everyone and good luck to all searchers of answers.
I am an adult adoptee and a birth mom who has recently found my son.
I had to reply to this because I am on both sides, literally.
My own adoption was obviously closed because I am unable to find any info at all.
My son's adoption was open (sort of), but we respected each others privacy throughout.
As an adoptee, it is very frustrating not being able to find out anything about myself for me or my son. I don't know what the situation was all about back then, but it makes me feel like I had no options then or now. It's my life too!
I can fully understand the right to privacy, but at the same time when you bring a life into this world , at some point in life you must be available for that person if only info. purposes.
The adoptive parent needs to realize we're human beings and that we will be curious at some point and it makes it easier when it's not like hitting a brick wall. Resentment and frustration and wondering is carried throughout a lifetime. It helps when the adoptive parents can actually help thru the process not, go against it.
When I found my son I wrote to the a parents and they assisted with the reunion and were supportive thru it all. This makes it all easier for everyone, although there are alot of mixed feelings. That's when everyone neeeds to stick together for the child. Not keep secrets and try to shut out the one person that can provide answers.
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