|
In recovery
I have found this site through a search engine because I wanted to know if I should contact my birthdaughter now that she is 18. I have decided to leave it up to her.
I saw your post though and felt compelled to write.
I am a recovering alcoholic. When my birthdaughter was born I had a son and did not want her to have the life he had because of my drinking. I knew I was not a good parent and could not take care of her.
I wanted her to have what I could not give. I believe through my pain and my way of life at the time God used me to give deserving parents a child. I also found sobriety a year later because of the pain. I could not drink away the heartache I felt anymore. I tried.
As for your question, if you were to meet birthparents would it make them go back to drinking if they are sober.
NO!
You are not responsible for an alcoholics recovery or if they drink. There is nothing you could do to make them drink. It may help them to know they are not forgotten. A word of advice though. Do not expect a reunion as you would see in a movie. I met my birthdaughter when she was 8 and it was a little awkward. She mainly wanted to see what I looked like.
Without sobriety it would have been a lot harder than it was. I had the "tools" to help me remember that the day was for her and her adoptive parents. I did not want to be overly emotional in front of her (that came later with my sister). If they are still drinking then you may want to keep it short the first time. Meet in a neutral place so that you can leave if you are uncomfortable.
Good luck.
|