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I realize the original post is years old...is there anyone even reading this board? If so..HELP!
My child, who will be 6 this week, is somewhere between Slow to Warm and Difficult. She was a colicky baby, she has always been a tougher child for me than my other 2, who are both very easy-going. We have been extremely consistent with consequences (time outs, followed by an apology, followed by hugs). We are a loving and respectful household. Although we have an adopted child, she is biological, and the oldest. She can be the sweetest child you have ever met in your life. She's got great manners, goes to bed w/no fighting it, is funny, smart, a wonderful girl. BUT she can sometimes be so mean for no obvious reason (really trying to hurt her sister's feelings...when not brought on by anything obvious). She sometimes refuses to comply with simple requests by her K teacher, which the teacher has said is not common in kids from loving homes...(guilt!guilt!). For example, the kids were all in a line. The teacher told everyone to face forward, at which point, my daughter apparently turned around so her back was to the teacher. She later "explained" that the sun was in her eyes, so she had to turn around. Nothing huge, but as the disrespect seems to be at the same, or higher, level as she turns 6, I'm concerned about where we'll be at age 12 or 13...
I also am "strong willed" and I defnitely think that part of this is b/c of our similar temperments. We had 3 kids in 3 years (2 bio, 1 adopted), and Isometimes (though not often) get so frustrated I yell. I wish I hadn't after, I apologize, but I'm human and sometimes exhausted and it has happened. We don't spank. Even though we're VERY consistent in how we handle time outs, she fights them EVERY time. It's a 1/2 hour thing just to get her to do a 5 min. time out every single time. She just doesn't back down (vs. her sister, who just does the time out and gets back to playing). Everyone told me as long as I was consistent, she'd "get" it. Her brother and sister do, but she does not give up. It's tiring, but mainly I'm just getting a little concerned here that she is disrespectful at times to her teacher, and to us...more than I see in other kids. More than my other kids....and i want to be sure she isn't out of control as she approaches the teen years. She's also aquired a new "best friend" who has been to our house (won't be again). She is INCREDIBLY rude. This is apparently the only child my daughter plays with at school and she LOVES her.
Any suggestions?? Do I spend more time with her one on one? Do I get less tolerant of her behavior and give consequences w/o a first warning to get this under control? Do I stay consistent with what we've been doing? I just don't know waht to do here!
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