[chrissy2]

I think each of these questions depend on the people involved and different cirumstances.


Is she even curious about her origins?

My parents (Adoptive) tried for years to have kids. They adopted me and my mom become pregnant within months. My parents are wonderful people, but I think the addition of a "real child" as my brother stated when were young, made my curiosty become a natural part of every day.



What are the chances she wants to meet her birth family?

Again, I can only speak for myself. I would say very great. I found this quote on this site quite a while ago and it sums this question up for me -

"In all of us is a hunger, marrow deep, to know our heritage, to know who we are, and where we have come from. Without this enriching knowledge, there is a hollow yearning, no matter what our attainments in life, there is a most disquieting lonliness." - - - Alex Haley




At 18, is she even old enough to deal with the emotional aspect of a reunion?

I have noticed alot of "too young" above. Again, I think that is different for each person. I think this might be the appropriate place to mention something that occured to me in your story (hopefully you revisit). I do not think that it is a good idea to have a neighbor/friend relay a message for you. As, you stated, you do not even know if the message was relayed. If the message was given to the birth parents, it would change (remember the old game of "telephone" - A statement would be wispered from one person to another and at the end of the circle would not be the same). Furthermore, you are not even sure if your daughther is aware of being adopted. How can you be sure they would give her the message?




Is there ever a “right time” to make contact?

I agree with many statements above. No matter when or "what time", this is a difficult issue and exciting at the same time.



How do most adoptive parents feel about reunions?

My parents told me when I graduated, if I wanted, they would help me search. I was afraid of further rejection, at that time. When I was 26, I paid a company $750.00 for medical background. It was a baby step. When I did call my parents, I could hear the hurt (maybe fear) in their voices, but they did and do support any venture I have started. I could not get "my search person" on the phone again. Someone eventually spoke to me on the phone, due to my persistance and told me that birthdays in OH and IN were commonly changed and my b-day might not be my real date of birth. I have been informed by a search angel on this site that this is a false statement. (I realize that I am off point, but appreciate any willing to read the rest of this - I'm on on roll). They went bankrupt with my money (the company, as that was quite a few sentances ago).

I was born in Ohio, adopted in Indiana and lived in California at that time. I did not know what I know now. The year I was born, both OH and IN had strictly sealed adoption records. It was and is illegal to charge money to help someone search in these states. I have read and am not fully sure of the accuracy of my next statement and welcome correction. As I am aware it is either legal or easier for the birthparents to "unseal" these records. So, for now, at 34, I figure, why find someone who does not seem to what to be found. But would welcome being "found".

Again, thanx to anyone that read my little diatribe. I am fully aware that those of you who did, probably have a headache........