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Kathy, we went through an agency for the foster-adoption of our son, then a year later our daughter. With our son the agency caseworker came out to our home once a month. When she came we spent most of the time at the kitchen table just talking. She would talk to our son a bit, and usually go up to his room for a few minutes. But he loved being able to show off his room and things. With our daughter it was pretty close to the same thing. With both kids we only had the state social workers actually in our home once each, just to meet us. I really don't feel that they have been at all invasive in our lives. As for no accepting money from the state... there are a couple things that can be done with that. If you use an agency there will be fees. Set aside the monthly foster payment to cover the fees. If you get an adoption subsidy after the adoption is finalized put that in the bank for a college fund.
Have you ever shown your husband the websites with the waiting children? My husband was ready to adopt all of them!
Through God all things are possible. The right outcome will come about in the right way and at the right time. We waited 5years to start the process of adoption, then it took another 9 months to be matched with our son, and two years to be matched with our daughter. I see now that we could not have had anything happen any sooner because we had to wait for the children God had chosen for us.
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