[mom2GRLC]

I think that some bith parents just can't handle an open adoption. Just like some adoptive parents can't.

For some I'm sure they would just like to move on with their life and just have "faith" in their decision. Sometimes moving on for some means letting go completely and for them it may be the only way to move on or get through.

Our sons birthmom has not wanted any contact. The grandmother said it's easier for her daughter to just keep him out of her mind/sight and pretending that he doesn't exist, is just her way of not having to face the loss and despair of the situation.

While it sadens me greatly to know this and to know how much it might hurt my son... at the same time I just want her to get through and what ever way she can find to do that and to find happiness in her life, i hope she continues to do what works for her.

I figure the door is always open if she changes her mind and someday when my son is older maybe she will finally be at a better place in her life to let him in. And frankly, I've learned that open adoptions can be very difficult at time. If she isn't capable or wanting it in the first place then it won't work. It won't be beneficial to my son.

So in cases where drugs/alchohol abuse or some other things may be an issues the birthparent may not want to be a part of the childs life, feeling ashamed for who they are or the choices they've made. Maybe they feel the child IS better off without them being IN their life growing up.