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Originally Posted by LeighM
We started our journey 5 years ago as a foster/adopt family. We could have taken a placement even before the final homestudy was signed but we didn't. In fact we turned down at least a dozen calls before we accepted S as a placement. S was a new born in fact the call came just hours after her birth. She had siblings in care but none of the other ff would take S. The older children had already been in care for over a year. And the cw was sure the case would go to TPR. S came to our home two days after the call. At one point during our journey the threaten to pull S from our home if we did not take her baby brother (baby #5) but we held strong. Baby D (#5) was born right after my FIL died and we had a lot on our plate at the time. By the time S was 21 months old we adopted her and the other foster familes (3 other families) adopted her siblings. We see S's siblings on a regular basis. Our families have become one and these children will grown up knowing each other.
My recommendation is go slow wait for the right call not just any call. But remember just because a cw tells you she thinks the child will be adoptable doesn't mean it will happen. We had a placement last year that we thougth would be adoptable - ** had already lost 4 other children. Two of those children she had lost rights too less than a year earlier. But the case went before a different Judge and he sent her home even with bp 20+ year history of drug abuse. She was clean 45 days and the Judge let her have the baby.
This is a tough road for adoption. And times I wondered why we didn't just go overseas. Than I look at S and I know we have been blessed.
My recommendation to you is get to know fp in your area. Not just new fp but the ones that have done it for a while. They will help you and you never know they may have the child of your dreams in there home. We foster just to foster now. My dh won't let me adopt anymore children. But trust me if I get the right child I know two great sets of fp wanting to adopt and I would do what I can to help them.
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Do you ever regret fostering? Do you wish you would have just gone straight adopt with DHS? I am still in this state of I dont know which to do... The only reason we would foster is to be able to adopt. That is our goal... Our DHS said that fostering to adopt is better because you get the opps to adopt the children of choice rather than taking in children that are unadoptable. Does that make since?? They said that foster parents get first chocie and the reason that there are no children under a certain age available, is because these children go to foster homes for adoption first.. Does that make since??