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We also hit the jackpot with an older child adoption. We adopted from Russia in late 2005 - a 6 and 7 year old at placement with a 9 year old in the home. Three kids within 31 months of each other. Tough for a awhile and still tough in the normal ways. We have no RAD issues - attachment is ongoing and will be for a lot longer than the one year they've been home. But they know that we are mom and dad and they don't question our love or devotion to them. They even know that being disciplined is because we love them. For us, what seemed to work or help was that we were INCREDIBLY structured from day one. We did not regress to bottles or anything - but we did regress in behavior. Yes, they are now 7 and 8 - but they have few choices in life. Mom and Dad are the boss and there isn't any other way. It's not mean - it's a safe feeling for them. They are now earning the right to make small choices (like two options for a snack)...but I back off that when I see the signs of stress it can cause.
We went into this knowing the worst case scenario and found a best case. I'm so saddened to read all the horrible stories on there - but there ARE success stories. Really - and LOTS of them. I hope that no one leaves this thread deciding to not adopt an older child. They need, deserve and want families and homes that are safe - they won't tell you that (maybe not for a long time)...and there can be issues, but there are times when there aren't issues!
I would do it again...and I try to talk everyone I meet into adopting older children as well! Of course I have an affinity for Russia and the children waiting there for their families...
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