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These are children, just asking and wanting to have a home and love, forever.
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I too felt weird looking at the photolistings on line. It was very sad.
I hate to be a downer, but most older children will NOT be grateful to you for adopting them. They are not asking for a forever home. They want their old home back. They are grieving. They will not look in the audience for you and feel better because you are there. They have a lot of hurt and you will represent that hurt to them. This is not always the case, but very often it is.
I found that, while it is difficult to say no to a child, you must know what your limits are. The children on photolisting generally have serious physical or mental disabilities. You must search your heart and determine what disabilities you can incorporate into your home. And then stick to it.
There are a number of children that we said no to because of mental disabilities. It was difficult, but we knew we were not the best parents for those children. As it turned out, my daughter has serious mental disorders that we were not prepared for. Its been extremely difficult.