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You're probably right, I wasn't the same person back then. That person felt so completely helpless; the person I am now wonders how I could have let that happen. I remember thinking to myself that it was wrong to give my child away but I just didn't have the worldly experience to make all the forces around me listen to what I was saying.
It's also very hard not to beat myself up...especially because I found my son dead. I have nothing to hold, nothing to focus on, nothing to be grateful for. I have nothing...no son, no grandchildren...no memories...and worst of all, no hope.
Denise
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