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[quote=thanksgivingmom]another bmom weighing in...i am not big on showing negative emotions and being vulnerable in front of other people...i'm trying to get better, but it's very hard for me to open up in that way. with regards to the placement of DD, i wanted to appear strong and in control, when inside i was scared and worried. quote]
This was me. To a T.
I was always afraid that DD's a-mom thought I was cold, and I was so afraid that that was what went through her mind if my DD ever asked. I even mentioned it when I wrote this summer, and she said she thought i was confident and brave.
I sure didn't feel it!!
My biggest fear was that I'd get attached and changed my mind, which I knew in my heart was the wrong thing. I kept up the facade for years, until it gradually wore away. It is finally something I can deal with now, nearly 15 years later.
Just offer support in whatever way you can. Even though she may feel funny taking it from you, in her heart I bet it will mean so much coming from you. It did for me. I look at all the cards and letters from DD's a-mom from the past and the fact that she was there for me made me feel even more confident that DD was going a wonderful and loving home. And it made me feel a connection with a-mom too, kwim?
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