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I CAN UNDERSTAND COMPLETELY WHAT YOURE GOING THRU. I AM AN ADULT ADOPTEE AND A BIRTH MOTHER WHO HAS RECENTLY REUNITED WITH MY SON (18). I HAVE NOT FOUND MY FAMILY YET, AND TO THIS DAY HE IS THE ONLY PERSON I HAVE EVER MET THAT IS RELATED TO ME. I DO NOT HAVE ANY CHILDREN BUT, I DO HAVE AN INCREDIBLE HUSBAND WHO HAS BEEN SO SUPPORTIVE THRU THIS. ABOUT 7 MONTHS AGO, I CONTACTED MY SON'S ADOPTIVE PARENTS. HE INTERCEPTED MY E MAIL AN D WROTE ME THE MOST LOVING, LOST LITTLE BOY TYPE LETTERS. WE THEN BEGAN A VERY CLOSE RELATIONSHIP OVER THE PHONE. WE TALKED TO EACH OTHER A FEW TIMES A DAY, IN THE MORNING BEFORE WORK/SCHOOL, IN THE AFTERNOON ON MY LUNCH BREAK AND IN THE EVENING. EVERY EVENING, WE DIDNT GO TO SLEEP UNTIL WE SAID GOODNIGHT. MAYBE IT WAS TOO MUCH, BUT I FELT LIKE IF HE WANTED TO TALK, I WOULD ALWAYS BE THERE FOR HIM. WE HAVE VISITED EACH OTHER ABOUT FOUR TIMES AND HAVE HAD AN ABSOLUTE BLAST TOGETHER! IT ALMOST SEEMED LIKE WE NEVER LEFT EACH OTHER'S SIDE, BUT WE WERE GETTING TO KNOW EACH OTHERS AS STRANGERS AT THE SAME TIME. THE LAST VISIT, WE GOT INTO SOME EMOTIONAL DISCUSSIONS AND EVEN A COUPLE OF REALLY STUPID DEBATES, OK ARGUMENTS. I DIDNT THINK MUCH OF IT AT THE TIME, BUT THAT WAS THE LAST TIME I HEARD FROM HIM. I WENT TO VISIT HIM IN CA AND HE WOULDNT EVEN TT ME. HE EVEN OPENED THE DOOR AND WALKED RIGHT PAST ME! SPEAKING AS A BIRTH MOM I DO BELIEVE THAT HE IS REALLY MIXED UP NOW, AND NEEDS TIME TO SORT EVERYTHING OUT. I WILL LET HIM KNOW HOW MUCH I LOVE HIM AT EACH OPPORTUNITY LIKE XMAS AND BDAYS BUT I ALSO FEEL LIKE HE WAS SETTING ME UP THE WHOLE TIME. NOT REALLY SURE, BUT SPEAKING AS AN ADOPTEE, I WOULD LOVE TO MEET MY REAL MOM, WHETHER SHE WAS MY KNIGHT IN SHINING ARMOR OR NOT, SHE IS MY FAMILY. I DONT UNDERSTAND YOUR SITUATION EITHER AND DONT REALLY HAVE ANY GOOD ADVISE BUT THE ONE THING I DO KNOW IS WE ARE VERY FORTUNATE TO HAVE THE LITTLE BIT OF MEMORIES WE DO HAVE. A FEW PICTURES, PHONE CALLS, LETTERS WHATEVER. ITS BETTER THAN CONSTANTLY WONDERING.
AND AT THE VERY LEAST, THEY KNOW THAT WE LOVED THEM, WHETHER OR NOT THE DECISION ENED UP BEING THE RIGHT ONE.
AT THE TIME- WE DID THE BEST WE COULD FOR THEM AND FOR WHAT WE HAD TO WORK WITH.
TRY TO HANG IN THERE AND KEEP YOUR HEART AND MIND OPEN AS I WILL BE DOING THE SAME. BEST WISHES
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