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Originally Posted by vbigelow
My adoption was closed and so I went through many years of torturous wondering until my son became an adult and found me. However, I have a comment to contribute. When I would tell my mother how I wished that I could at least have letters and photos, she'd say, "Oh really. What are they (his a-parents), your babysitters? He's not yours anymore. You need to stop being so selfish and self centered and move on."
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Ouch, I'm so sorry. I am reading "The Girls Who Went Away" and sadly, I think many other women heard similar comments.
I am a bmom in an open adoption and heard the "move on and leave them alone" from my son's adopted sister's birthfamily the one and only time I met them (my son was a month old at the time).