[Jannyroo]

My son contacted me 8 months ago, we had our first meeting a month later.

Although he treats me as a confident, says that he doesn't talk to anyone (including aparents) like he talks to me, I get conflicting messages as to what he actually feels about his aparents.

I have been careful to not take sides and sent a reassuring letter to his aparents soon after reunion.

I have sent another letter over this christmas to try and build some kind of relationship with them, but only if they feel they can.

Whilst its early days (2 weeks) I have not heard from them and I suspect that he has burned any bridges I made with them since my initial letter, but the question I have to ask, is how do you aparents feel about contact from a bmom? I have endeavoured to be very careful with their feelings and my counsellor has said that in her experience of the triad, my letters were absolutely lovely.

I am reassured by that, but I would like to know, how can I build up a relationship with my bsons' aparents?

How soon is soon? Does it take years? Would you aparents rather bmoms/bsons kept their relationship separate? If you had a difficult relationship with your child, would that make it impossible for you to contact the bmother? The hurt must be enormous, but is it possible to get a good relationship with aparents, even if the son's relationship is difficult all round?