[thanksgivingmom]

Writing my thoughts down helps in so many ways. It gives me a place to vent, it gives me a place to process what I am thinking and going through, and it will provide my daughter with the opportunity to understand all the things i may not be able to explain to her someday. I want her to know the story of her birth, and to know all the things I was thinking in those first days...feelings I can never hope to recapture but that I can try to record so that I never forget. Hopefully through reading my thoughts she will be able to understand why I make the choices I make. Writing about how her absence effects my days, like today on Christmas, will hopfeully help her to see that while I may have placed her with another family, she was always with me.