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Hi jen,
I know how you feel. At the age of 48 in 1998 I found my bmon but she was not able to handle a contact and so I left her in peace.
Was informed in Sep this year that she had passed away and as a result i met her eldest son by marraige. he is a wonderful man but i feel a lot of guilt because i met him as a result of my Bmom's death. Am slowly sorting thru the emtional minefield and am determined to come out in fromt but it is difficult. To make matters worse my brother humanised my mother as all i had had was two letters and a photo which has created a deep sense of loss. How do u mourn a person you have never met. To top it off the anniversary of my adoptive mother's death is dec 26 so u can see how Xmas to me is alittle bit offputting. But i will grin and bare it for the sake of my children grandchildren and my wife
Keep your chin up Jen u are not alone
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