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My husband and I went from 0 to 3 when our sibling group was placed. It's been a year, we've finalized, and the children have made great progress in dealing with some of the difficult issues. We keep a journal of progress (or lack thereof) to remind ourselves of the 'baby steps'. When they were placed, my children were 3,6, and 8.
There were a few things which changed right away. In the last year, my husband and I have clocked 10 hours of 'Just Grown-Up' time. We found our support network lacking with respite. To keep sanity, we have arranged weekly respite times where each of us can leave the house alone to sit and have coffee or something. I wish we had planned this better, but through trial and error, we have survived.
We had a difficult time finding a therapist that we were comfortable with and also would see a family of five.
I think that the children had each other to help with some of the adjustments. I can only imagine how a single child would feel under the microscope after placement.
We constantly have to re-evaluate what is really important. Our discipline has evolved and continues to do so each day.
I do not regret any day.. although I thought twice when I went for weeks with little to no sleep..
I love each of the three children like I never imagined I could.
As a bonus, I thought I would miss the first smile, first word, kinda stuff with an infant. But I don't feel any void like I used to (before I became a Mom). In a way, I have the first smile, laugh, etc.. because it is our first together.
I have learned a tremendous amount about myself and my marriage. This is definately what my journey of life was ment to be.
Feel free to contact me if I can help.
Heather
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