Yesterday was our first face-to-face meeting with Bmom "M", facilitator, and attorney.
To start off, one of the babysitters for our kids (we were sending three kids each to two different places) called early to say that her son had awakened with a fever, so we had to find sitters for the youngest three at the last minute.
Then when we got to the city, we got lost trying to find the facilitator's house. We were supposed to meet her there at 10:15, and didn't find it till 10:45, and we were to be at the correctional facility at 11, and it was half way across the city. We made it there at 11:05, and our attorney was waiting for us there. We didn't really have time for introductions (none of us had met each other yet), but just went right inside. They brought "M" up to the waiting area, and we were taken to a very small room about 8x8, cement floors, and one itty, bitty table (about 2x3) with three chairs. The found a couple more chairs for us, but it was very uncomfortable.
We had a very good chat, and got all the legal stuff hammered out. Our attorney then talked with "M" about his reasons for participating in this adoption, and our motivation to adopt, and our facilitator's motivations to minister to everyone involved. He said he knew he probably sounded like a "religious nut", but he knew we all wanted to minister to HER, and to help her understand the Lord's love for her. (And right here I and my dh just totally "lost" it, and started crying.) He told her that we were all in this because God had "called" us to this adoption, and that her baby was not a mistake, but a gift from God. What a humbling and wonderful experience that was for us. We could really feel the Lord's presence with us in that little room, and I pray "M" could feel Him as well.
Then our attorney excused himself, and we all left to go out to lunch at Long John Silver's. "M" had been craving it all the time she was incarcerated, so we let her choose. We had a great time chatting and getting acquainted.
After about an hour, our facilitator said she had to go, but that "M" was signed out until 4, so would we like to take her shopping for several things she needed. We agreed, and so we took her to Kohl's and got her some more clothes, and to a drug store for laundry supplies and other misc stuff... she wanted to get some stamps, so we went to Quik Trip for stamps, and ended up getting her three packs of cigarettes also...we weren't too happy about that, but didn't know a nice way to say no...we got her back about 3:30...
One thing that happened that I didn't quite know what do about. We were in the line at Kohl's, and "M" wanted me to feel how hard her belly was, and I asked her if the baby kicked a lot, and she said that he/she was keeping her up at night, kicking almost constantly...the lady in front of us piped up and said, "Just wait til it's born, then it will *really* keep you up at night." Of course, she had now way of knowing about the adoption, but it was a little awkward...and then when she left, she said, "Good luck with the baby." "M" didn't say anything, and I felt so bad for her...
"M" had told us at our meeting earlier that she didn't want us to worry, that she wouldn't change her mind about the adoption...she said she knew SRS would NEVER let her keep the baby, and that they would just come to the hospital and take him, and she wouldn't have any say so about where he went, or who his parents would be...relinquishing him at birth will at least give her peace, because SHE was the one to pick us, SHE is the one with the choice and control. With her two oldest that were taken by the state, *they* were the ones with all the power...she has no idea where they are, or whether they are happy, or anything, and she hates the "not knowing"... she is very content with her other baby's adoption, because she gave him to the parents she had chosen for him...
"M" is going to find a doc this next week, sign up for SRS benefits, and try to get her ISO to approve CNA classes...she said I could come with her to the dr. appt. if I want to...If I WANT to?!?! Of COURSE I want to!!!
Anyway, we dropped her off at 3:30, and then made just a couple more stops and came on home...picked all the kids up at their respective sitters, and of course we had to go through the story each time...made it home at 6:45, and we were just so "shell-shocked" from all the day's events that we decided to go the easy route, and took the kids to Micky D's for supper... after we got home, the kids wanted to go to the last home football game, so dh bundled them all up, and I stayed home to "veg out"...
I feel good...I am at peace...The Lord was with us!!
Thanks for praying everyone!
In Christ,
Patrice