[DCMomLady]

I used to ask myself what I would do if my niece suddenly rehabilitated herself and became the responsible young woman that I always hoped she would become. If I knew in my heart that she would be a good mother to my daughter, could I love them both enough to open my arms and let go?

If such a miracle had happened during the first year after our adoption (the second year of our custody) my husband and I both felt that we would be able to "reconsider" our adoption and return to our original roles of Aunt and Uncle. If we knew that Her Sweetness would have a good life with her birthmom, we believed we could go back to our old life and original plans -- which never included children, especially not at our age. After two years, we thought it might be too hard on all of us to go back to our former roles.

Of course, fantasies don't often become reality and my niece did not change. She is content to be a "special cousin" to my darling daughter and that's the way it is.

Am I happy that I didn't have to test the strength of my commitment to my daughter's best interests, or my niece's? Yes, and no. I love my daughter with all my heart and I would do anything for her. I really wish that my niece would, too.

I have great sympathy for you and the emotional bind that you're in. I can only say that I hope you will have the strength and the courage to do whatever must be done in the best interest of the children, and the sister of the man you love.

DeeCee