[toetappin]

i was a foster parent in 1990, before I was actually licensed I started receiving children. at one time I had a 12 year old girl and 4 boys ages 2,3,4 and 5. My husband and I worked full time and had no children ourselves.
Our intentions were for long term children with possible availability to adopt, as for we could not have children of our own.
As time went on, 2 of the boys went home and 2 small boys and the oldest (girl) stayed. I had the boys (not related) almost 5 years. They were 10 months apart in age one was 2 years old and the other just turned 3 seven days prior when God blessed me with them.

When these children came to live with me they had nothing and no one. Never a visit like the other children, no outings or gifts, no family to care. So I once I heard that the parents rights were going to be teminated, I was sad for them but happy for me as for I could start the procedure for the adoption of both of them. Then I could and did make my family, their family. My mom their grandma, my brother their uncle etc...
they were happy and excited.
So I started the adoption on the oldest of the two when an incident that I had absolulty had no knowledge of and totally beyond my control occured with a visitor at my home that involved a weapon and the police. The children were in bed and asleep because they were the first to enter my mind and I checked on them immediatly.
The next morning, Catholic Social Services and The Department Of Children and Family Services were there to remove the children because they said that I put them at "risk of harm".
Not only was I in disbelief but all of a sudden I felt as if I was no longer working fo rthem any more and that I was now a "client". The people I had worked with and known (some 20 some years) were now cold, rude and heartless. Not one asked me what happened, they went by the police report.
They put the children in another foster home down the street from me.
I was devestated. After many weeks and trying to rationalize with these people, it was sensless and I was getting absolutely nowhere.
My husband and I seperated and I was a mess.
I was a member of HOG. Harley Owners Group and also a local chapter. Without knowledge my friends and my chapter all came together and formed a benefit for me and the kids to find legal counsel to sue the state. I had donations coming from out of town from people I didnt even know. My hometown joined together and businesses and private donations were flooding in. Thank goodness for my mother as she was my backbone.
The benefit was a great success and a little over 14,000.00 was raised. I hired an attorney and sued the state, I won. I had always heard people say "they weight was lifted from my shoulders" but I had never expienced it until that very day. and you can really feel it lift.
The kids came home and it was difficult to work with the two departments. I tried and thought I did really well but they made it hard on me.
The kids came back in Feb. 95 and by Sept. 95 the dept.'s dug up another unfortunate incident and revoked my license, took the children and I have no knoweledge of them since.
I have searched for them for 11 years. They are now 18 and 19 and I can not get over the fact that I have missed their life and everything that they have experienced. Even when I see them again I still will have missed that . This has been with me every single day since Sept. 1995.
When i applied for foster care it was clrear and openly discussed at my free will that 100 years prior I made a mistake and had a felony record. I did not lie on the application either. Well, CSS looked at the overall situation and knew me as well and licensed me.
After all this was said and done they said that the state decided to "change the law" and if an applicant has any felonies they would be disqualified to be an foster parent.
Nothing more I could do, I had exhausted all of my funds. My attorny said we could take it to the supreme court and have about a 30% chance and a minimum of about 100,000.00. What di you do?
I still to this day have not figured out what the State and the departments definition is for "the best intrest of the child"
This has been a nightmare.