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Originally Posted by britfish
Jen, Could you tell us what it is like for the newborns and infants in the orphanage. How are they cared for (holding, rocking, bottle propping, left in cribs, etc.). We adopted my daughter at 11 mos. and I would love some insight in to her care and environment prior to that. Thanks!
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Y'know, I really hope to help out sometime in a baby home, like we do in our orphanage for older kids. A problem, of course, is that I couldn't imagine being IN Russia and not being with my kids!!! We'll see what happens...perhaps that opportunity will open. At any rate, I will answer your question, with the understanding that all I say is not from what I have seen with my own eyes - but what friends who work/volunteer in baby homes and kids who were there (sometimes they'll let an older brother or sister stay longer with their younger sibling, particularly if they're in the adoption process or bio parents are working on getting them back) and were old enough to tell what they know.
As I understand it, baby homes are generally much nicer than orphanages for older kids,
because of the adoption factor - they know adopting parents will be coming into their institution often, and therefore the standards are much higher. Babies (define baby? Kids under 3; toddlers to them are 3-5 year olds) are easier to keep from getting into things - they're usually in playpen-like cribs and they sleep 4-8 kids together. According to all the moms I've chatted with, Russians are just now getting used to the diaper idea - usually if a Russian mom has a baby at home, they won't diaper them - only when they have to go out somewhere. they consider it unhealthy. How does that work, you ask? Well, Russians never do really potty train kids. They just 'sense' when the little one will have to go and set them on the potty. Moms in Russia are amazing at this - I was with one lady who guessed it
perfectly, every time, with her 6-month old. She would feed him, then about 5 or 6 minutes later, set him on the little pot, and he would do his business, she'd clean him up, then put him down and he'd crawl around and play. We were having tea and chatting happily when she got up about twenty minutes later, picked him up, and put him on the little pot again. He couldn't sit up really by himself, so she just sat there holding him up a bit, and sure enough, he was ready to do his 'number 2' right then and there.
Anyway, that's generally the idea in a baby home as well, only it doesn't usually quite work as well as a mama with her one baby - caretakers are only so intuitive!
Unfortunately, there's a lot of favoritism (as we've already said at length), therefore not necessarily all the kids will get the same amount of attention. Kids learn at a very early age that crying gets you nowhere; therefore they just
don't. The eeriest feeling of my life was when I visited a baby home a couple years ago (I was only able to be there for a few hours), and I walked into the bedroom, where over 40 babies were lying in cribs. And there wasn't a sound in the place. No, they weren't all sleeping - actually only a few were. But they didn't even respond to us walking in. They just...laid there. They already knew, sooner or later someone will make it over to you, but crying will probably just make it so you have to wait longer.
Generally they will be underweight and underdeveloped, simply for lack of stimulation and excercize. Generally they won't be mistreated; they just won't get the positive contact they so desperately need. There just aren't enough arms to go around - yes, they should all be walked around and cuddled and have their foreheads kissed - but again, caretakers spend years and years in these places, and they become indifferent to the kids' needs.
I wish I could say differently, but from what I've heard, this is the case. The upside? I know for sure there are baby homes where the director is an awesome person who requires that the kids be given absolutely everything possible. Whereas in most places caretakers will come thru and prop a baby's bottle against the crib, some places require that they hold them to feed them.
I pray one day I'll get a chance to help in a place like these!
-RussianJen <><