Quote:
|
Originally Posted by soulquest81
I think that adopting a few babies over the next several years may really help me heal, even if I'm still single. It will help me to understand the unconditional love that my son's adoptive parents must feel for him in a way that having more of my own biological children can never do. Does it sound strange that I want to be a birthmother AND a future adoptive mother?
|
It is not strange, but you cannot look to a chil or children to "heal" you or for the experience to help you understand. First, no child can replace another. Parenting, whether biological or adopted children, does not take away the pain of not parenting the child you placed. For many, it brings new challanges. For many, there comes a deeper understanding of what has been lost with every new phase a child goes through.
Also, everyone experiences things differently. You may find that you have a deep love for the birthmoms of the children you adopt and want contact with them. You might not be able to understand how adoptive parents can cut birthparents out. Adopting needs to be done for the right reasons. Children should not have the burden of healing their parents losses, whether those losses occur through infertility or placing a child. Children require so much of us... as is their right. They deserve parents who are as healed and whole as they can be, before they come into the lives of their parents.