[soulquest81]

This may sound strange, but I had a son five and a half years ago that I did an open adoption with. It has been very difficult for me since then because his adoptive parents are very protective and will not allow me to have any contact with them at this time. However, there has been a huge hole in my life since then, and now I'm a bit older and more financially secure. Nonetheless, I am still single.

I want to understand what unconditional love is and I want to view adoption as a beautiful thing and not a selfish thing. In another year or so, I am seriously thinking about adopting a child from overseas, perhaps from Guatemala. Have you ever heard of a birthmother who winds up adopting babies and never having anymore of her own? Should I just consider becoming a foster parent instead? Or should I wait until I'm married because that was the primary reason I placed my son in the first place (I was single).

I think that adopting a few babies over the next several years may really help me heal, even if I'm still single. It will help me to understand the unconditional love that my son's adoptive parents must feel for him in a way that having more of my own biological children can never do. Does it sound strange that I want to be a birthmother AND a future adoptive mother?