[#2Momto3]

Hi, I am new to this board, and somewhat hesitant to post, it is just out of character for me to "air my laundry" but here it goes...

I am the stepmother of a now 12 year old boy. This child was initially put up for adoption by his first mother, against the wishes of the father (now my dh). DH's mother found out, and hit the roof!! She financed DH's battle to obtain custody of the child. First mother was legally married to someone else, and she pretended he was the dad, he signed his rights aways forthwith (knowing the child wasn't his), but when all was said and done, the poor (I feel for them, really) couple had to return the child at six months old!!! My heart goes out to those people, bear in mind, I was not part of this equation for the first 5 years.

First mother continued to "party", on and off with substance abuse, arrest record a mile long, etc. However, father did not have support of his mom that he thought he would. He is a truck driver, and was frequently gone for days at a time, so who did he leave the child with? Oh, you got it, the first mother (who was still married to the other guy, and now had two more babies)

Enter me. I met ss when he was five years old, and he was clearly what you would expect, swearing like a sailor, killing small animals (frogs,etc.--pretty scary in my book), would not use utensils (don't need them at McDonald's). Still, there was just something way down there, and I believe it was from his original placement. I couldn't turn away. I worked and worked with him, and he is now doing much better. School? Mostly a's, couple of b's. I work at an animal shelter, so taking him with me softened him up there, maybe taught him compassion.

We are married, and I recently filed for adoption. First mother, of course is fighting it. She recently lost custody of her two youngest to CPS, so I think things will work out for us.

Sorry this is so long, but I just wanted to let someone know. I was hoping that in some way, maybe his first adoptive mother could rest easy if she knew that he is doing well now...and that she did truly make a difference.

Thank you to all adoptive mothers, even if your heart was broken, you MADE A DIFFERENCE.