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Jen,
You just explained my self-esteem issues. I grew up in Russia and let me tell you, you hit the nail right on the head. Russians believe in negative reinforcement. The teachers at our school routinely had favorites and they also had kids they hated, for lack of a better word. I remember one incident where a boy that no one liked, including the teacher got an A (a 5 on Russian grading scale) on an assignment. The teacher openly refused to give him the 5 because he usually got 3s and 2s (Cs and Ds). She finally gave him a 3+.
It's common for parents to degrade their children and have a favorite child. I have a cousin who had an overbite and her parents called her "rabbit teeth." I have confronted my mom in recent years about why she would always cut me down and she said that if she complemented me it would go to my head, if she cut me down I'd try harder to be better. I guess that's what they believe.
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