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Originally Posted by KarenInCa
Kara, I did not say anything about mistakes. Mistakes and knowingly ignoring (not stretching, but avoiding) the guidelines for adoption are two different things. Not that it's important, but actually, we did not leave anything, knowingly, out of the homestudy. DH had to send away for info from the police department, because when he was a young teen he broke windows on an abandoned building. And I disclosed that I was divorced, because of an abusive relationship. I did not know if that would hinder our report at the time. We disclosed every small detail, even when we were unsure of the results. However, you and I both know that a small stretch like $1,700 is not the same as completely ignoring a major guideline that could effect the child in the future. So, everyone must decide what is important enough, for the benefit of the child, we all have to live with the decisions we make.
DH and I will only be married 4.5 years when we want to try to adopt again, so we will not be meeting the requirements at that time. I feel badly for parents that will not qualify now, at all. It's devistating when it happens to anyone, especially after starting the process. And with so many people that want to have a child for so long, this is one more disappointment. I would have been really devistated. Please keep in mind that my post was made as a non-emotional post, in an emotionally charged thread.
My point was though, that China's best interest is in the children. And although it seems harsh to us that many children are kept in orphanages, especially with so many that are willing to be excellent parents, I truly believe that China would rather keep them in China to contribute to their country, rather than release them to us without meeting their high (now higher) standards and expectations.
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So, what rules, by your estimation is are okay to stretch or skirt. Not everything is or can be black and white. What would you do if you knew someone was skirting the rules in a way that you considered unacceptable?? Say I had a a condition that required medical intervention, it was not life threatening, but did require meds, what would you do?? What if I was fudging more than $1700 say 11,000. That means I still had assets of $69,000.
What makes you more right than me?? Or anyone else on this board for that matter. You have to live with your decisions as I have to live with mine. Their is one judge for me, and Karen, you are not it. I know of one child who most likely would have died in China, were it not for the decisions her parents made, regardless of whether they were right or wrong in your eyes or my eyes.
You made a choice to post a very cold and callous set of comments in an emotionally charged thread. You should expect some people to not take your comments and thoughts without some anger or hurt. You should know that it will likely get a rise out of some people. Think before you post and be considerate of those who have had their hopes dashed by this newest set of guidelines. I was there friday before I got confirmation from my agency that I was okay. Good Day Karen, and I don't expect you to understand.
K~