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I am an adoptee that was adopted into a family where i am the ONLY blonde, blue-eyed person. And that includes cousins, aunts, and uncles (even those who married into the family have dark hair!) I always loved being the only blonde, with big blue eyes. I got comments all the time on them. It didn't bother me that I looked different, as a matter of fact I got upset when someone said I looked like my parents. Personally, I think it upset me because I knew I didn't look like them, and hated when people said I did....almost like people HAVE to "see" who you look like. And secondly, I think down deep I really liked knowing that my "look" came from my biological family. It was something that no court, no judge, no social worker could take away from me. I liked that even though I didn't know who my family was, or where they were, their blood, their traits, their genetics helped form my look. And the thing is one of the reasons many adoptees give as to why they search is so they can see someone who looks like them. And while this is a reason why many give to search, I don't think it is the REAL reason. If that were the case, then it would be good enough for me that I look like my friend Kim. People ask us all the time if we are mother and daughter..and when we say no...they move to sisters... once again no...lol...so if ALL that mattered was looking like someone then Kim should be "good enough". The truth is, I think many adoptees want to know what I was talking about earlier...WHOSE blood is running through my veins...WHOSE genetics gave me those blue eyes and blonde hair?
All adoptees will have their own opinions. Some will feel similiar to how I felt, others will think I am from outer space, and hey maybe I am! I however think that the most important thing is not looking like someone. I've seen biological families that each child looks completely different...The important thing is that a child is accepted, cherished, and loved for the person they are. That they are celebrated as an individual. That the culture they were adopted from is celebrated and brought out.
I hope this helps you. And best wishes on adopting!
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