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Originally Posted by JGarrick
I tracked down a quote that puts the whole thing in a nutshell for me...."Clearly, the [foster family] never understood how important adoption was to me....I believe that their position was based on the notion--shared by many people involved in foster care--that adoption is pretty much an empty ritual, a bureaucratic step up from foster care with no deep meaning in and of itself. "
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The day before my son's adoption, I would have told you that I could not love him one ounce more or be any more committed to him. I had him from the time he was 21 days old, so by the time his adoption rolled around two and half years later, he really felt like "mine."
But a month after the adoption, I was totally amazed at what a huge difference it made. Yes, it's a ritual. But rituals make a big, big difference in how we feel about each other and about how other people treat us. Before the adoption, we were two people holding on tight to each other while we sailed down the rapids. After the adoption, we were a real family.