[hscvt95]

You are not alone in this. We had a rummage sale to help raise money for our adoption. This woman came and was looking at EVERYTHING....very nice..talkative..UNTIL, we got on the subject of adoption. I told her we were adopting from South Korea and she immediately said "OH??".."Why would you do that? Don't you know there are many babies here in the UNITED STATES that needs homes? Why would you bring yet another foreigner into this country?" That is when I decided she needed to leave? I didn't feel that I needed to tell her anymore.

As for family, my father in law and his wife (is my husbands' step-mom) were never really interested in anything to do with our adoption while we were in the process. They could have cared less. If we brought it up, they would change the subject. It wasn't until DH had a falling out with his sister (because of the same kind of attitude) that they came around (she talks to them ALOT)...but it seemed fake to me. Well we had them at the airport with us (along with all the other grandparents) when Cole came home. They seemed so very happy at the time..although I still felt it was fake. Well it was about 2 weeks after he came home. My DH had gone back to work and I was talking to the step-mom on the phone. She asked how Cole was doing. I told her fine but when it was he and I here during the day he wants me to hold him all the time. Her reply was "I sure hope Mike doesn't feel slighted by that" I couldn't believe she said that. Then she proceeded to tell me how they were in the store the other day and there was a newborn there...and how it started to cry...all they could think of was what my DH missed out on not being able to have gone through that with Cole (I have a daughter from a previous marriage and Cole came home at 12 months of age)

They have more of the mentality that this is only DH's child and how HE had missed out on so much because we adopted and had an "older" child (not newborn)...UUGGHHHHH........that made me so mad. So I just go with the flow now. I don't do conversations with them and keep my distance as much as possible. We have taken Cole over there a couple of times..(we live in a different city..about an hour away)...but they don't make an effort so neither do we! That's my feeling.

Don't worry about what others think. You are DH know why you are adopting and that's all that matters. You are parents REGARDLESS of it was by adoption or birth.