Cara,
My friend and I have both adopted our children from Korea and we "joke" that the only way anyone really understands adoption is to go through it themselves. Even though we explained every detail of the process to our families - they can't appreciate the importance of every detail that brings your child home. Even with a biological child or domestic adoption, you are not guaranteed a child "who will look like you". I am a biological child who looks NOTHING like my parents - people THOUGHT I was adopted!
I know it's hard to hear comments like that especially from family. I hope it all works out for you.