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Inpurgatory, your feelings are completely normal. My DH, who is an adult adoptee and thinks his adoptive family is the best thing since sliced bread, really was reticent to adopt. He said that since he had no real bio "link" in the world (he has not located his birth family), he was hoping to have a bio child. Completely understandable. Primal, instinctive even (for everybody).
Ironically, before I discovered that we had infertility problems, I blithely said I would have one bio child and adopt a child, b/c I truly do think adoption is a beautiful way to grow a family.
I can only tell you this -- DH now always says that he is so GRATEFUL that we suffered from IF because otherwise we wouldn't have DD (ummm...I don't think I would use the word "grateful" but I know what he means). He is literally gaga over our DD and always says, "THIS is so much better than I ever imagined!" I am not saying that YOU will feel that way, but leave your heart open to it and keep reading/researching.
Btw, without prying, why does your wife NOT want to have a bio child?
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