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Even after researching, talking to other adoptive parents, visiting informational meetings, AND being an adoptee myself, both my husband and I had feelings of fear and uncertainty about what it would truly be like adopting a child as opposed to biologically producing a child.
While I 100% agree that education and research is vitally important before jumping into the adoption process, I also feel that it is a leap of faith. You may never feel 100% like your husband and your husband may never feel 100% like you do about adoption while you're going through the process. It's a little unfair to assume that both of you will have the same exact feelings and thoughts regarding the process of adoption. While a couple, you are also still individuals with individual emotions and reactions.
For my husband (and to a degree, myself) only once our baby was in our arms, and we could see, feel, and touch the reality of adoption and realize its profound impact and emotion, did our fears and uncertainty melt away.
I think that you should keep talking and discussing the issues honestly with each other until you are at a comfortable point to go one way or another. Don't worry about seeming selfish or unfair or worry that you don't seem to be exactly on the same page or that you don't seem to be 100% positive about anything at any given moment. Many times during our adoptions, we felt scared and ready to backtrack. Everyone has different reactions and feelings and experiences with adoption, just like in pregnancies.
Good luck and blessings!!!
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