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Originally Posted by drrlshaw1
Thank You For Having Me - From the Adopted To The Birth Mother
What does it mean to be adopted? What do you feel when you find out you've been adopted? How should you feel about your birth mother? To be adopted means, someone had to give you up. It's a cruel thought and a hurting feeling to think that someone gave you up. But too often we come to conclusions without truly stepping in another man's shoes or should we say another woman's shoes. Most mothers who have given up children for adoption felt that at the time of giving up the child, it was for the best. They weren't jumping for joy and turning cartwheels. And adoption does not necessarily mean they DID NOT WANT YOU. To many children grow into adulthood feeling like their birth mother didn't want them.. It's time to dismiss that feeling out of you because that feeling turns into hurt, anger, then hatred. It's time to dismiss that thought! But you say how can I let it go when my mother didn't want me because she gave me up. NO, NO, NO, NO, NO!!! your mother did want you! SHE HAD YOU!! Did you hear what I said. SHE HAD YOU! SHE DIDN'T HAVE TO HAVE YOU! Babies are aborted every day. Statistics say that there are 3,700 abortions per day in the USA. BUT YOUR MOTHER HAD YOU! She endured the nine months. SHE DIDN'T HAVE TO HAVE YOU! You may not have nor ever develop an ongoing relationship with your birth mother, but you must be grateful that she had you. If she had not at least had you, you wouldn't be here now. You wouldn't even be alive. Everything you've gone through, everything, you've experienced, has made you who you are today. But you would not be any of that if your birth mother had not had you.
Sometimes you're fortunate enough to now who your birth mother is as you're growing up or you meet them early in life. I found out that I was adopted at age 30. It was an additional 15 years later that I saw my birth mother for the first time. It was a few years after I found out that I heard a sermon on Mother's Day that made me realize that I needed to be grateful that she had me. She didn't have to have me.
If you know who your birth mother is, get your focus off of the fact that she gave you up and call the and tell them "Thank You for having me." "THANK YOU FOR HAVING ME!" If you focus on the blessing of being born, God will show you that even in your being given up for adoption, God had a plan for your life. Hurt, bitterness, anger and hatred will keep you from fulfilling the plan for your life. Call your birth mother and thank her for having you. The next Mother's Day, thank her for having you by card, phone call or face to face. But get those words out - THANK YOU FOR HAVING ME!
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I have heard of adoptee's saying to my generation of birthmother, (1960s-1950s) thank you for not getting an abortion.
For myself, and for many that I have met, that was never an option. I know that one birthmother was devasted when it was said to her. She not only didn't want an abortion, she never would have done it.
For me, it was never a thought, I wanted my child, even if it had been legal, I would not have done it.
I would have been insulted and hurt, if my bson had said that to me.
I do know that abortion was hard to find, but back alley, quack doctors did do them. My own mother had one at age 21, in the early 1950s. I would have been 3 years old at that time. She was unable to ever carry another baby to term. She had 8 pregnancies with her second husband, one baby petrified in her womb.
Adoptee's only know that it is available today, legal, in a sense easy to get or do. It has not always been so.
Many women died or lost their ability to concieve a child, that is why they fought for the right to have an abortion should they choose.
But it was something I wouldn't have done.
Hugs for all who have made that decision, it couldn't have been easy.