[advocateteacher]

I've known my whole life I was going to adopt, even if I didn't understand it. I remember saying in 4th grade that I wanted to have two children but I never wanted to "have any". My teacher told me that wasn't possible.

In high school I told everyone I wanted to be a mom but isn't there a way to have a baby but skip the painful birth part?

I've never dated a man who has wanted biological children, but several expressed a desire to adopt for various reasons, including population and children who already needed homes.

I toyed with the idea of being childfree in college but after thinking about it for any amount of time I would feel very sad. I began telling everyone I was going to live in a rural area with my two adopted children and some cats, dogs and a garden. The thought kept me focussed on larger things.

Over the past 4 years I have been researching programs, countries, parenting philosophies and trying to get all my ducks in a row. Unfortunately I am in grad school and may not have enough savings or my undergrad loan might be too high, to be considered. I won't be done with my degrees for another 5 years.

Sadly I am thinking I might have to wait those five years but it's very sad to think about. Every day it seems the call to adopt is getting stronger. I have told my family of my plans, I find information on Latin America in random ways, people try to speak to me in Spanish and I find I am still able. Many small things keep reminding me.

Most of my friends and family have young children and it would be fantastic to raise them together. But if not, I know there will be a lot of good information and support and advice there.

So I am happy to see there are others here. Most recently I have been wondering how difficult it will be to date as a single parent, not finding people who are willing to date me, but those whom I would trust enough to let into my life an the life of this child.

Jen