[jamiesheridan]

Thanks for responding. I took your advice and played around quit a bit wit the forum site today, and definately feel more comfortable in navigating it. The holidays have always been extremely difficult for me, even when I didn't realize how much of what I felt was tied up in the whole adotion thing. I think this year is going to be the hardest ever. I recently moved from Missouri to Florida, and in the course of it managed to accomplish what I had always feared most...to be completely abandoned / "disowned" by my adoptive parents. In a lot of ways that should be a positive as my relationship with them has always been pretty horrific, but the constant bad beat the absolute feeling of being alone I am adjusting to right now. I have spent the last four days wallowing in self-pity, but feel like I am ready to get on with everday life again now that the "family" weekend is over.