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I agree it may be better to wait... especially with older kids. Our 23 month old is "home" now and calls us mommy and daddy, our 9 year old is quite far from it and still very much hopes to go back to her home as soon as possible. She likes it with us, but we are not her parents... and who knows how long it will take before she would actually enjoy a 'gotcha' party. Probably not until we actually, legally adopt her. I think it just depends on the individual kids, visitation situations and whatnot as well.
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Mama to Pixie  and Tucker  both two, both adorable, both adopted.
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