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As the parent of a 2 child Sibling Group I understand why you feel that it is such a tragedy that 4 and 5 Sibling groups are split up. Before we adopted, my wife and I were looking at groups of between 3-5. God brought us a 2 child group and I am very thankful to have these wonderful children.
I would caution you that more children means that the normal problems that you will deal with concerning loss, attachment, sadness, ADHD, IEP's etc. are only multiplied by adopting a Sibling group.
Our son remembers little of the trama of his birth home but our 7 year old daughter has really put us through the wringer.
At times dealing with this child has been more than my wife and I could bear. We went through a period where she threw tantrums several times a day to the point that we had to physically restrain this child to stop her from hurting herself, her brother or us.
Several times, in the last few months, we have thought, this wasn't what I signed up for. After almost two months of struggling with these issues we have finally started to see improvement.
We currently have her and her brother in counseling and we are doing some family counseling and twice a month we all go to group therapy. This will be a huge commitment of your family's time. How will your birth children feel if all your time is spent dealing with the problems of a Sibling group that you have brought into the home?
Some of these Special Needs children come from backgrounds that most of us could not believe exist. Please speak with others who have adopted large Sibling Groups before adding a large Sibling group to your family.
In our support group we have a couple who have adopted a 6 child sibling group. They are constantly dealing with intense problems. Only their saintly ways have managed to get them this far. It is difficult and don't let anyone down play the struggles that you might face.
We love our children very much and are willing to work through these times. Please make sure that you and your family are prepared.
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