[kauai2k]

My husband and I both went back to work after only two weeks of being home. We balance work at the office and work from home. But still, there's a worry constantly that our need/requirement to return to work would further impede our attachment challenges. We have found a way to work through our anxieties. Some days are good, some days are bad. ARen't everyone's weeks like that?
CJ came home at just over 10 months. Soon after we had his first birthday, and it was weird for me. Everyone was sooooo excited and I wondered where my excitement was? I realized that I wasn't ready to share him, because I was still developing my feelings of motherhood.
Remember that attachment and bonding is a TWO-WAY street. You and the baby are both forming a relationship. It wasn't instantaneous for me. I was still recovering from the process. I was still angry at how long it took and all the crap that happened over the course of 10 months. But I couldn't let that spill over into my relationship with CJ. it wasn't his fault.

What I share with you is this: I taught CJ to give his stuffed animals hugs and kisses a few weeks ago. Tonight as we were playing, he crawled up on my lap and spontaneously gave ME a kiss and hug. Who couldn't ever say that every minute you spend working to achieve a relationship isn't worth it? Not me.

To all the parents who didn't have a Cinderella homecoming - it's ok. The adoption agencies and such will never prepare you for a rocky start - but you have to have patience and faith.

I, too, am here for anyone who needs to share or talk. I am living proof that bringing home an older baby has it's challenges and rewards.
diane