I think the answers to your questions depend on what country you are adopting from.
I have escorted two children from Haiti for their new families. There was no fee involved because the family found someone who was travelling to Haiti anyway to escort their child(ren). If you asked someone to escort your child to the US from your agency/orphanage - you would have an escort fee and pay the ticket/hotel/meals of your escort. Escorting in Haiti might delay things a week or so while paperwork is gathered, but if you facilitator is on top of things they can probably get that done while you are waiting for your immigration appointment or Visa to come.
I would always certainly recommend travel. What about choosing a country where one parent could travel so that you husband didnt have to go? I can't imagine having to tell my child I never even saw their birthplace! We have so many wonderful memories and pictures we can and will share when the time comes.
S.
sis2kensia@yahoo.com