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Originally Posted by karaleah
For bmoms in adoptions that promised openness but were later closed, when you look back on the months or weeks leading up to placement, do you see any warning signs? Is hindsight 20/20?
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I can see what I now consider red flags looking back. For one thing, when I met the couple they were pretty much agreeing with my every suggestion while not giving any concrete answers. Example: I ask if future visits are possible. They enthusiatically agree they are "open to it" without any follow up comments on specifics such as frequency, or even when said visits may happen. When I asked these questions they would state: "Let's just play it by ear". In other words I was getting the type of non-answer that would lead me to believe they were willing for a much more open adoption than it turned out.
I guess my advice to expecting moms who are interviewing a couple is to press for a direct answer.