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WCFrancis, we had almost your exact situation. We now see bmom and her parents about once every 4-6 weeks plus special occasions, but they visited a lot more than I really wanted to at the beginning.
I posted on another thread that although it was more than I wanted, it seemed to help bmom adjust and tapered off pretty naturally after I went back to work following maternity leave. I also find that if I'm proactive about sending e-mail updates and photos, we have fewer requests for visits.
I agree with the others, though----set some boundaries and don't worry too much about what other families do----this is about you forming a personal relationship.
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