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WCFrancis, if you think it is "excessive" than it is "excessive" for you.
It is very difficult to set boundaries sometimes if you want to. I remember when I had just returned to work, my DD's birth mom and I talked and she wanted to exchange email addresses. I did not feel comfortable with that (to me, it would make me feel "obliged" to update her daily, etc. -- I'm sure not what she expected, but just how I felt). It was v. hard to say that I didn't feel comfortable with that.
In our OA agreement, we have an annual visit around the time of DD's birthday. We have had one other visit when she was 6 weeks old. I personally LOVE the visits (and love our DD's birth family) but DH (who is an adoptee from a closed adoption) is more "adamant" that we should do what is in the OA agreement only. (Btw, he really likes DD's birth family too, he just has this sense that he feels like in some ways it "intrudes" on our family....needless to say, I don't!).
It sounds like you have a wonderful relationship so hopefully you will be able to set the boundaries you want in a way that makes sense to all of you! Good luck!!
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